Don’t Save Anything For The Swim Back

This morning, ready to begin a full day of writing, I will share with you that my heart sunk. You know those days? The ones you look in the mirror and aren’t sure what you’re going to do with yourself. How will I accomplish what needs to be accomplished? Where will I find the inspiration? How will I find the focus? How will I have the energy? 

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For me, right now is the time to dig right back into my sole passion. Writing. Faire has ended, summer is done, my little book shop is now all closed up until next year (I will try not to weep…this season was incredible). And if I want to keep growing and sharing new works as a writer, I need to return to my focus. But in the last few weeks, I’ve been exhausted, fretful, distracted. Rest isn’t coming easy and writing not at all…

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Some might say, some do say, ‘just take a break’… ‘just take it easy’. I wish I could, but more and more in these last few years, I feel that writing for me is everything. It is, what I am. And if I’d like to continue to challenge myself in the ways I hope to, well then…the clock is ticking. I feel it, a big clock hanging over my head, and it is ticking loudly

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This blog, it is about inspiration. It is about what inspires me, with hopes that some of my words might inspire you. Now this particular post might not be meaningful to everyone, but for those of you who have ever wanted to achieve some goal very badly, I think you will quite understand…

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So where did I find my resolve today? To carry forward with what I had set out to do, even though I would rather just go lay down in a grassy field somewhere and sleep until next week? I reminded myself that I just have to do it, and that if I want to walk with my ambitions…no matter how unfocused and weary I am, I’m going to have to push myself to dive right back in, and swim hard. “And if you really want to reach your goals Michelle, then you’d best not save any of yourself for the swim back…”

But this self-talk comes from an inspiration from long ago. Back in 1997, then a young woman, there was a movie that inspired me so greatly that I was quite literally stunned when walking out of the theater. Gattaca. In this futuristic film, babies are designed for perfection, and anyone who is born naturally, are considered flawed and afforded few opportunities. The main character is naturally born, but aspires to be an astronaut, a position which only ‘perfectly’ engineered people are allowed. This ‘imperfect’ man must go to extreme lengths in order to achieve his goals…

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There is a scene that seriously struck me. The main character Vincent competes in a swim against his stronger, ‘perfectly modified’ brother. He wins in this swim, even though physically it should be impossible. And when his brother, incredulous at how Vincent has done this, asks him how, Vincent tells him, “I never saved anything for the swim back.”

Incredible. I remember thinking then, and I still believe it now…so that is how it is done. If you want something badly enough, you have to give it everything.

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In any case, I leave this post to focus and write…or should I say, swim.

Stay Inspired.

My Kind Of Town, Chicago Is…

On account of business, I had reason to be downtown several days this week. I lived, worked and went to university in Chicago for many years, as well I now live just on the cusp of the city, in Evanston. I could power walk over to the city limits if I was feeling up for a good workout, and I can see the skyscrapers from the lakeshore just down the street…

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That’s why it’s kind of hilarious that while I was racing to and from the train in the city this week (appropriately wearing my ready-to-hike-those-long-city-blocks-sneakers and my extra-warm-winter-trappings-to-buffer-me-against-the-city’s-bone-chilling-winds), I kept halting in the middle of the sidewalk to take a photo. The city folk probably thought I was a tourist. What can I say? I’m still awed by the city, and probably always will be…

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Nowadays, I’m not so sure I’d want to live in the city, as I have before. It’s still exciting, but hustle-and-bustle, expense-and-noise, are the song of any city, and I’m quite enjoying my slower-paced living these days…

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I was baffled by the stream of commuters pouring out of the trains and walking over the river toward the skyscrapers, even though I’ve been amongst them hundreds of times. Thousands of workers flooding in, flowing out, each and every day…

I was of course absolutely delighted with the excess of tasty-looking dining options, and peered into many an eatery as I zipped right past. And as I walked over Michigan Ave., I hadn’t enough time to cross and stood standing between the lanes of speeding cars, hoping withal that I wouldn’t get misted with dirty water…

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I stopped and pretended for all of 8 seconds as I peered down a dark, steaming alley that Chicago was in fact Gotham City (because it totally is) and that Batman was going to fly down at any moment and stop a bad guy (yes, I have a big imagination)…

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I peered out over the river and pondered taking a ride on a water taxi…

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I believe folks mainly take a water taxi on the Chicago River for sightseeing…commuters are in too much of a rush to hop on a boat!

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I ate a delicious hot sandwich to fuel my work and walking, paired with my favorite…a fizzy, chilly berry La Croix! It was berry refreshing…

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I kept looking up, every enormous building making me feel tiny and insignificant…

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And I remembered some of my favorite things about the city, the museums, the ballet, the theater and the amazing dining. I especially smiled when I spotted an older couple walking hand-in-hand down the very busy sidewalk. It was like everyone was going in the opposite way at top speed, and they, dressed elegantly and walking peacefully, were going in another. They looked dressed as though they were heading to an early dinner and theater. They seemed very happy to be on an outing in the city, and I was happy for them…

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It was fun to shake up my routine with a little work adventure in the city this week! It’s inspired me to visit again very soon…perhaps for a day at my favorite museum!

Here’s wishing you many life adventures, some planned, many unexpected! Keep smiling, stay inspired!