What I wrote: “And then she knew, it would be up to her to save the kingdom.”
What I was thinking: “Michelle. You drink four cups of coffee in the morning just to make it to lunch. But you expect your character to save an entire kingdom. I bet you’re going to give her a sword, aren’t you? Could YOU wield a sword? One who is wary of toenail clippers. Just so you know, you have to write this thing. So actually YOU have to save this kingdom. Did you think about how you’re going to do that before you decided to put the weight of the world on this character’s shoulders?! Better sharpen your pencils! Here we go!”
Tag Archives: Story
Glitter
What I write: “And then the fairy twirled about, dusting them all with magical glitter to make their wishes come true…”
What I think: “Wait. Michelle. Remember that time glitter got in your eye from that makeup you were wearing when you were eating at that fancy restaurant. And it ruined dinner because it scratched your eyeball. Like, really bad. And the server tried to lend you their eye drops but you were too scared to use them when you scurried off to the bathroom because you’ve always had a strange terror of eye drops. And then how you looked like a wreck instead of a glittering beauty because the tears wouldn’t stop gushing from that eye to try and expel it. And how the other tables probably thought you were having a breakdown. But you weren’t. It was just one-single-evil-fleck of sparkle. So…are we sure about the glitter?”
Super-squirrel burning rubber!
Happy Autumn! May you have peace and light in your life today!
Had an exciting moment on my walk at dusk last night. I stopped to chat with a raccoon in a tree, who peered down at me curiously. And what do you know but a RODENT flew in from somewhere into that same tree and ran up the trunk and then effortlessly transported itself from one branch to another. Friends – it was a southern flying squirrel. And I can’t tell you how wildly fast they can run up a tree trunk! Like, super-squirrel burning rubber!
Once many winters ago, my mom and I were terrorized by a rodent-creature flying in at night onto the tree in the backyard. We had no idea what it was. A monster evidently. We did some lady screeching, because that’s what you do when there is a mystery creature and it keeps making an appearance. Much later, I wondered if it wasn’t a flying squirrel. But I’d never seen one that I knew of. They are nocturnal, so no wonder! And they don’t snooze all winter, so, there you have it. Two women frightened SILLY because of a flying squirrel. But imagine. A winter’s night, some creature flying in from where? Clawing up the tree and peering out with its big eyes in the darkness. What WAS that thing?! Eeeek!
Beauty Sleeping Giveaway on Goodreads!
Goodreads Book Giveaway

Beauty Sleeping
by Michelle Novak
Giveaway ends February 18, 2022.
See the giveaway details at Goodreads. Enter Giveaway
A Scorpion In My Bathroom?!
The strangest creatures are regularly found in my potty. Huge spiders, fast running centipedes, that enormous cave cricket. But this last Sunday evening, there was something in my bathroom that was quite strange indeed….
First, let’s set up the scenario. I’ve just gotten home from day two of a very hot and muggy weekend at my tented shop, The Quill and Brush. It’s around 9pm. I’m exhausted. My costume is damp from rain and perspiration, and far past uncomfortable. I’m feeling claustrophobic in it. I’m a wee sunburned, my ankles are swollen, and I’m in need of a bite (though the heat is making me second guess whether I want to eat at all). I’ve been eaten all up by an army of mosquitoes. I want to get into that shower, now…
I tear off my costume and fling it to the bathroom floor before the toilet and take my shower. I then pick up the costume and put it in the hamper, and then go back into the potty…
But I must digress in this story to first tell you this. I have a superhuman power. One, single, superhuman ability. Yup. And anyone who knows me will tell you that it is true. What is it? I see the tiniest bugs, the littlest movements. Whether in the leaves, or on an outdoor path (or crawling on my bathroom floor). It’s the funniest thing, especially as my eyes now require reading glasses!
How many times has someone said, “How did you see that?!”
I dunno. I think it’s because I spent a lot of time outdoors as a youth and I noticed bugs, and because I take great interest in insects in general. I also took a field science course in college, which amped up my excitement for them. Nope, I can’t fly or see through walls…but I see bugs…Ha-Ha-HA!
Ok. So I’m sitting on the potty. I spot this tiny black dot on the floor. We’re talking the size of a pen dot of black ink. Really, really, itty-bitty…
And I think that it is moving. This little dot is moving around on the floor, but it is so small, that I believe my tired eyes are playing tricks on me. This must just be a speck of dirt! But as I watch, it does indeed take a walk. A short little walk no further than a quarter of an inch. Hmmm, what bug is so small and black? It is not taking up flight, not a gnat. What is that? Oh no! Is it a tick?
Of course a tick is very possible. I’ve been up in a wooded place in Wisconsin all weekend, walking around in the grasses, sitting in my tented shop under the trees. I suddenly am sure that I’ve carried it home and that it dropped off my discarded costume. I now believe I should do a quick look-over of my legs. You see, I abhor ticks. I would rather a very scary, hairy spider with fangs run across my face, than to discover a tick in one of my crannies. UCK! ECHK! They give me the heebie-jeebies because their bite can deliver disease…
But first I must determine if this little black spot is indeed a tick. I scurry for a mini post-it note, and my mini flashlight, and I’m on the bathroom floor with a spotlight on the little fella. I put the post-it before it and it walks up onto it. I’m like, squinting. What is that? It must be a tick, but I’m not so certain. I’ve seen ticks aplenty, and this little dude isn’t quite fitting the bill. I hurry downstairs and push the mini blue post-it into my honey’s eyes. I blurt…
I think this is a tick?! Do you think this is a tick?! I hope this isn’t a tick?!
Handsome’s eyes are squinting and I’m trying not to drop the bug. I’d never find it again, it’s so small, and I don’t want a tick in my house. He concurs that it looks like it might indeed be a tick. But neither of us are certain. I toe into the kitchen, as careful with my cargo as possible, where the light is much better. I’m flashing that little flashlight and the bug is reacting.
He’s got pincers!? He’s clawing his little pincers out, imperceptibly screaming, “Turn off that light lady! Geez! Put me down!” I holler for my (very patient) man to come into the kitchen and see this…
He says, “It looks like a scorpion.” And I agree, “Yea, like a lobster?!” Meanwhile, the little dude is scuttling around, indeed like a little crab of sorts, snapping the tiniest little claws in the world. As it is not a tick, I cannot dispatch of his precious little life. As with every insect I find indoors, I gingerly carry him outside and let it free. I immediately snatch up my bug identification book. I’m so curious, it’s crazy. What did I find? What if I’ve just discovered some new species, and now I’ve let it go, and no one will ever believe me (except for handsome)…
So what did I find?
I found a pseudoscorpion. Pseudoscorpions are of the arachnid family, as are spiders and ticks. I wasn’t too far off my initial identification! They live worldwide, and are not considered pests, but helpful rather. They eat the larvae of the moths that nibble fabric. They gobble up mites, and hunt for ants and little pesky flies. They live in leafy debris, amongst the dirt, and on trees. There are a great many species of them, and they vary in their tiny size-range. So itty are they, that they usually go unnoticed. And in those pincers, which they use to hunt, they do indeed carry poisonous glands!
I can’t tell you how exciting it was to discover that I’d found such a unique little creature, of which I’d never known existed before. He’d clearly caught a ride on the hem of my gown as I trudged through the grasses on the way back to my car Sunday evening, and had taken a ride all the way back with me. Then when I threw off my dress, he tumbled to the bathroom floor. Where am I?
Pseudoscorpions can live up to three years! I’m glad I didn’t step on him. I’m glad I actually saw him, and let him free on the porch. I hope he’s feasting on the peskier bugs around my front door even now. What a magical little moment to watch him snapping his pincers at me! Aww, my little pet scorpion from the bathroom! Go eat those mosquitoes!
Here’s to the delight of discovery, and to keeping your eyes open to the wonders (both great and small) that are all around you!
Citrus in Chicago
Text message from my honey: “…did you give the squirrels a tangerine?”
My reply text: “They foraged in our garbage bin…………I think.”
I saw the tangerine sitting on the front lawn when I left the house. Yes, I sometimes feed the squirrels and chipmunks, even though I know that I shouldn’t because they become pesky. I learned that lesson after giving them some berries and nuts while writing outside last summer. Before long, I could hardly type a word without a chipmunk or squirrel approaching my bare feet to see if my toes were almonds.
The tangerine in the yard (which I believe was foraged in the trash) had a perfect hole bore into one side and the fruit removed. I told a friend this because I thought it was unique (don’t squirrels peel their tangerines with those little squirrley hands?). My pal moved here recently from a warmer climate. She immediately told me about the palm rat or roof rat.
They live where fruit trees are abundant, which is why I hadn’t heard of them before. We certainly can’t grow citrus in Chicago! She said that when you go to pick what looks like an unblemished piece of fruit (fruit trees grow abundantly in people’s neighborhoods), you often find a perfect hole bore into the back and the fruit removed. The culprit is the roof rat. I had to look the creature up!
Though not unlike other rats, they like to nest away from the ground and love to eat fruit. They apparently plague homes by nesting in roofs and eating all the fruit from the trees. There are even ‘rat guards’ that you can put on your citrus trees to keep the rats out. I read this article and felt sorry for folks who have to deal with that. It seems to be a rather serious problem for home owners.
Of course, the tangerine in my yard had been eaten by a squirrel, who though not as precise with his drilling abilities, had made an impressive round. I’m very thankful that we don’t have roof rats; our raccoons are quite enough. Yet again, I learned something new! I’ve certainly never seen a rat climb a tree…only dumpster dive and dodge taxis!
As for me, I made fresh orange juice this morning (one of my absolute favorite ways to start the day). This glass juicer is vintage! Didn’t you know that vintage juicers make the juice taste better? Wait…that’s just my imagination? When at Volo Antique Mall with my folks, I declared I wanted to find a juicer, and this pretty yellow one came home with me!
Do you think the sunshine in my glass might melt that snow? Oh citrus! How delicious!
Thanks for sparing me a few oranges, you naughty roof rats!