I woke up egregiously exhausted this morning. And when I am that tired, I am also for a spell, a mite melancholy. I have days where I feel like I’ve been taken out by a tranquilizer. Today, stress is to blame. If I was someplace warm, I would go have a lie down outside, by the sea, or in a garden, read a book and listen to the birds. There is no better restorative, or inspiration…

[Little Miss Michelle]

According to the reports here however, it is only 9 degrees outside. To the skin, it will seem even worse, on account of our icy winds. The other night even, I had to use heat packs in my gloves (thank you mama), to keep my poor fingers from freezing. The world outside, is glacial…

A touch forlorn, I opened a box of photos over my coffee. I shouldn’t do that. I become too wistful every time, even when I find myself smiling. My eyes were tearful just about immediately, remembering all the places I have been. All that I have already lived. And wondering, what is next?

Looking back, even memories I had nearly forgotten are still so powerful, both sad and happy. I wondered if the broken pieces in our hearts ever really mend, in spite of the strengths we forge, or if it just sits quietly with us…

And, I wondered how my mama did it, and my grandma, and my great-grandma before. How they met challenges, and stress, and worry, with grace…

Am I meeting life each day, with grace? If I am, then why do I always feel like such a wild, rebellious, rip-roaring, crazy-pants? Mom? Grandma? Did you feel that way too? Goodness. Goodness gracious…

If you have ever seen the movie Chocolat, you’ll recall the wind that draws up and makes the main character pack up her bags, sensing that it’s time to move on elsewhere. Sometimes, I feel that way.

But…what is here, will be there. I’m old enough to know that now. And as a friend once described, what’s inside, you take it along like a turtle shell on your back.

As for all the elements outside of yourself, frustrations are found anywhere you go…

Now, a change in scenery can be an incredible adventure! Moving someplace new might even be the right thing. It’s just that any notion of running away, well, it’s never really running away.

So, what is the key?

Listening to what you need, and arranging it as best you can in your life. Work toward it, wherever you find yourself. Contentment, happiness, and wellness, is different for each of us. If you listen, you know what’s important…

As for me, I progressively desire more peace, and quiet. Further, the demands to ‘keep up’, are becoming increasingly a challenge. Part of me loves an urban energy, but I don’t know that I can continue to digest the noise, and expense, and speed of it…

That mystical wind might soon blow me toward a hidden acre in the woods. With Sasquatch, and ticks, and dead silence and darkness at midnight. It’s days like today, when I’m so very tired, that I wish I could go right now…

Fun fact: I believe I’m more terrified of ticks, than I would be if I bumped into a big foot. I know God made all creatures, but I’m wrestling with why He included ticks in His design. Why God, why?

Well, I’m going to keep a quiet day in bed today, and write. And ponder just how I’d still be able to put food on my table, and pay my taxes, and my health insurance, when I run away to the woods…

Life really is a crazy adventure. Sometimes, it really wears me out.

But don’t worry. I have a knack for staying inspired…